Day Forty-Four: Going home and making friends with wonderful wacky people on the plane!

Hello world. I have left London. I am sitting on the plane – in an aisle seat mind you! – next to an extremely interesting couple whose first words to me were “What’s ted’s [meaning teddy] name?” The lady has written a book called Paradise Proof, and is a self-proclaimed spiritualist. She wears a lovely turquoise cross around her neck and she is fascinating. I asked her what her favourite story from her book was, and though I probably shouldn’t write it here because it’s her story! Anyway, we had a riveting discussion about souls and names and the idea of Heaven! You know, people are amazing. They’re so so different and there are so many conversations to be had! It’s almost impossible to imagine all the things they know!

So, back to the start of today, because I have time now and I need to record life! After going to sleep so late last night, Laurie and I woke up pretty late. It was wonderful: she brought me a cup of tea in bed! We were going to sit and chat, but the new-fangled bed was on wheels, and so you couldn’t actually lean against the wall without the bed rolling forwards! So we had tea in the kitchen! After that, I made a final to-do list, involving all the itty-bitty last-minute shopping things. There was quite a bit still left to do – those random things that you need to go somewhere special to ding. Top of the list were some golf-gloves for Billy. En route to finding them, we visited Harrods, which is massive, imperial, and rather unreal. It doesn’t feel right to be in a building filled with so much money’s worth of goods. I think that my favourite part of Harrods was the bottom floor, replete with seemingly infinite jewels. I particularly like the excessive displays of sparkle! It’s as if the jeweler chose the most shimmery gems he could find, and then cut them so that they shone even brighter, and then put them altogether in the hopes of blinding anyone who happened to look at them. Maybe by blinding people the jeweler intended to blind them to the price!

We took a break in Hyde Park, at the Serpentine Café, where a nosy, obnoxious pigeon pestered us. He landed on our table, eyes riveted to the carrot cake. I tried to shoo him away, after asking him politely to leave. But to no avail. He was as determined to stay as I was to make him leave. It didn’t work so well because I am not very good at chasing stubborn pigeons. If they’re the sort that fly away if I so much as take a step towards them, then I’m fine. But if the wretched pigeon is brusque and unfeeling, I am useless. Anyway, we ate the carrot cake quickly and he moved off when he realised that there was nothing left for him to have. I even made sure that there were no crumbs left on the plate; whether this was because I didn’t want to share with the pigeon, or because I just simply wanted to eat all the cake is a good question. It was a SPLENDIFEROUS carrot cake. The cream cheese icing was incontestable. I would have had another piece, but I think it may have made me feel sick. Also, it was expensive!

So we trekked 6 and a half miles in search of a golf glove and eventually found one! Then we walked speedily back to Laurie’s house and moved my bags downstairs as efficiently and quickly as possible. This was a difficult task considering that the bags weighed 22.9 and 24 kgs respectively, two hand luggages not included. With help from some kind strangers at the various staircases, we made it to the tube station and onto the right tube – the Piccadilly line – reaching Terminal 4 about an hour later. Then we went to check my bags in, and the kind lady let my 24kg bag go without making me pay! After that, we made our way over to the Costa and partook in cappuccino-and-pastry. ‘Twas yummy! Then I thought I better get moving, so we said good bye and I headed through security.

Now for those who may be travelling soon: when you go through security, you are allowed ONE plastic bag of liquids, not two. And “liquids” includes foundation powder. I don’t know quite what they thought I was hiding in my skirt elastic, but apparently I have a metallic waist! This meant that I had to be checked with a strange contraption that looks kind of like a toilet brush, which they wipe(?) around the offending area. It has a piece of material at the end which then goes into what I presume is a drug checker or something. Fortunately, my waist is not illegal, and so it was all fine! I proceeded to the conveyor belt where two of my three trays were waiting for me. But where was the one with my red bag in it? Hah. It had been re-directed to the “poke through me because you’re pedantic” pile.  I had to wait – behind people who were technically behind me but didn’t seem to understand that pushing in front would not make their bag suddenly acquire magical powers that would allow it to emulate them and jump the line. Is it bad that I was quite leased when my bag was picked up (before theirs) and I was able to step in front of them? Anyway, like I said, it turns out that foundation and the last dregs of a tube of toothpaste also need to be put in a plastic bag. Eventually I made it out alive and with enough time to buy some water and get to the gate with time to spare!

The plane ride so far has been pretty uneventful, except for two things. First, I almost went to the airhostess to ask her if I could plug my laptop in because it wasn’t charging. I’d even gone so far as to turn on the little ‘assistance’ light. Fortunately no one came, because as I stood and picked up my laptop, I realised that it wasn’t charging because I hadn’t plugged it in! The second event was when I was in the bathroom and I didn’t know that the toilet flushing thing was automatic. So I let out a semi-squeal when I was busy brushing my teeth and then suddenly the toilet started flushing on its own! And airport toilet flushes are not quiet at all, so it was quite a shock! You’d think I would have learnt, but it happened again when I moved my arm to put my toothbrush away, and I got a fright again!

Oh and we had a yummy chicken curry affair for dinner, but there was coleslaw which was gross – as coleslaw is. The chocolate cheesecake was delicieux! There are about two hours left of the trip, and I don’t really want to sleep. Maybe I’ll sleep on the next flight!